Here’s another NFL mock draft to pollute the internet with. OH, OH, OH, but it’s funnier than most! (Plus, we made that super-awesome GIF, so you kinda owe it to us to give it a read).
We will put out a real mock draft closer to the actual draft, but in the meantime, let’s have a little fun.
1. Indianapolis Colts
Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
Because nothing says “Indiana” like a goofy white dude with a neck beard. This pick is Koy Detmer approved.
2. Washington Redskins (via St. Louis Rams)
Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor
RG3 recently turned down a private workout for the Colts. He REALLY can’t wait for Kyle Shanahan to start fucking up his career.
3. Minnesota Vikings
Matt Kalil, OT, USC
Who really cares? The Vikings themselves have seemingly given up. They might as well just cut ADP and let Toby Gerhart run rampid (read: for ) behind their super marketable franchise cornerstone, Matt Kalil. Great time to be a Vikes fan!
4. Cleveland Browns
Ryan Tannehill, Texas A&M
This is entirely too early for any team to draft a 1-year QB who was converted from WR. PERFECT! Cleveland must suck at everything athletic. It’s the 11th Commandment: Thou Browns shall draft like a dickhead.