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This year’s Eagles draft was one of the most complete and successful drafts that I remember as an Eagles fan (remember: hindsight is 20/20). The Birds’ brass filled almost every position of need, doing it without reaching once. The only positions that they did not address were tight end (may not actually be a big need) and safety (was considered a very weak safety draft class). After the jump, we take a look at every pick and give each selection a grade.
Naturally, because the Eagles drafted a player with a phallic last name, people immediately turn into comedians. Here are the best “Cox” jokes we’ve heard/been emailed/been twatted at, thus far. Some are better than others…
“RG3 is going to be running from Cox all year!”
“Our Cox is bigger than yours!”
“No one can escape our 300-lb Cox!”
“RG3 will have Cox in his face all year!
“Philly loves Cox.”
“ I can ‘ t waittohearanannouncersay, ‘Romojustgotpoundedby Cox!’”
“I LOVE COX!” – Mike Meech
“I like the birds pick and all, but I am a little worried about the size of our Cox.”
“I here Cox from Mississippi is hard.”
“Cox gonna explode through the gaping holes in Washington’s front.”
“Look at it this way, if a lineman knocks over Fletcher, it’s all good because thy would have just smoked Cox. Joke’s on them.”
“Eli is not going to be happy about the size and length of our Cox.”
Regarding the hug with Goodell: “Damn, Goodell’s got a strong hold on Cox.”
“I hope our Cox don’t get hurt next year.”
“Laws was bad. Cox is good.”
“Is there a larger fine if you lead with your helmet on Cox’s head?”
Leave your best efforts in the comments…
The draft is tomorrow. YAY! Being that we are website that talks about sports, we are thus required to release a Pro Football mock draft (Section 3.4.9 of the Official Internet Blog Constitution). This one is not a joke (unlike our last mock) and is probably all wrong. Nonetheless, we follow A LOT of information about football, and aren’t just trowing darts at a draft board. Take a gander, should you feel inclined.
All picks after the jump.
Dawk rules. As proof:
Brian Dawkins released this statement today:
“The Lord has blessed me to play in the NFL for 16 years. I would like to thank the Eagles & the Broncos 4 believing In me. I would like 2 thank all my teammates & Coaches that I have been blessed 2 go to battle with. Along with u, the fans 4 helping make my career 1 that i have enjoyed tremendously. In other words. I am announcing my retirement from the NFL.”
B Dawk is one of the most-loved athletes in Philly sports history, and, rightfully so. He played the game with more passion and tenacity than anyone ever to put on an Eagles jersey. So much so, that the Birds are still trying to fill the safety void left by Dawkins when he departed for Denver, in 2009. A la Pat Burrell, Dawk will entertain the notion of retiring as a Philadelphian, should the Eagles offer (which they will).
Thanks for 16 years of badass football, Dawk. You’re the man.
Oh yeah, (SHAMELESS PROMOTION!!!1): You can honor Dawk with a t-shirt or hoodie from our Weems Wear store, should you choose. Enter the code BDAWK to save 10% today.
Here’s another NFL mock draft to pollute the internet with. OH, OH, OH, but it’s funnier than most! (Plus, we made that super-awesome GIF, so you kinda owe it to us to give it a read).
We will put out a real mock draft closer to the actual draft, but in the meantime, let’s have a little fun.
1. Indianapolis Colts
Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
Because nothing says “Indiana” like a goofy white dude with a neck beard. This pick is Koy Detmer approved.
2. Washington Redskins (via St. Louis Rams)
Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor
RG3 recently turned down a private workout for the Colts. He REALLY can’t wait for Kyle Shanahan to start fucking up his career.
3. Minnesota Vikings
Matt Kalil, OT, USC
Who really cares? The Vikings themselves have seemingly given up. They might as well just cut ADP and let Toby Gerhart run rampid (read: for ) behind their super marketable franchise cornerstone, Matt Kalil. Great time to be a Vikes fan!
4. Cleveland Browns
Ryan Tannehill, Texas A&M
This is entirely too early for any team to draft a 1-year QB who was converted from WR. PERFECT! Cleveland must suck at everything athletic. It’s the 11th Commandment: Thou Browns shall draft like a dickhead.
GQ’s profile on T.O. dropped today and gave us the answer as to why the former Eagle signed with the Allen Wranglers of the Indoor Football League. After 15 years in the NFL and made over $80MM but after taxes, agent fees, real estate purchases and other failed investment opportunities, T.O. claims he is broke. (more…)
New Year’s always brings 2 things: hangovers and sports. NFL football, Bowl games, outdoor hockey, college hoops… so much to watch. So, since you’ll have a hangover all weekend, why not let us sort out what to watch and where to watch them?
7:00 pm, NBC
Hockey: “Flyered Up” Special
NBC previews the Winter Classic and takes a look back at everyone’s favorite former Flyer, Eric Lindros.
7:00 pm, Local TV
College Basketball: Temple vs. Delaware
If you are in an area where your cable provider gives you this game on some shady channel, it could be semi-entertaining. Probably not, but worth a check-in.
9:00 pm, CSN
76ers at Utah Jazz
The Sixers continue their road trip at Utah.
10:00 pm, ESPN
College Football: Insight Bowl – Iowa vs. Oklahoma
Bitter PSU fans can yell at their TV as Iowa gets to play Oklahoma in 1 of 2 Bowl games that passed on the Nittany Lions. Oklahoma QB, Landry Jones, has a ton of stock riding on this game.
The Eagles need some help but there is a legitimate chance they could host the Falcons or Lions at the Linc on January 7th or 8th in the first round of the NFL playoffs. The Eagles need to roll on the Cowboys in Dallas this weekend while the Jets take down the Giants and then beat Redskins at the Linc on New Years while the Giants dominate the Cowboys at home. Championship.
The Eagles have looked like the Dream Team over the past two weeks, and it’s tough not to think about what could have been if they had held on to win a few more games earlier this season. The D looks fired up, Tom Celek is all over the place, SHADDY CLAP is going off and Vick hasn’t died over the past two weeks (although he came close a couple times Sunday).
We caught up with Big Red earlier this week, as he was partying with the Gang Green.
