The legend of Pat Burrell grows

Kizzle | Comments (0) | Phillies | October 21, 2010 12:58 pm
We’ve all heard the countless Pat Burrell stories. The rumors of his legendary cocksmanship have swirled for years, creating quite the buzz around Pat the Bat’s social life. Today, we have the good fortune of adding to Burrell’s immortal mystique with a story of our own. The below account comes directly from a female friend who moved to San Francisco earlier this year. She was lucky enough to run into “the Bait” on Wednesday night. (All names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved):
Pat Burrell – so he lives in the marina, and I have heard plenty of stories about him being out and about. “Jen” (a girl I went to HS with and was out with last night) was talking last time I went out with her about how Pat the Bat hangs out at various dive bars and she’s been dying to see him.  She had high hopes of seeing him last night but I was all “nah, he has a game again tomorrow, doubt he’ll be out.”
Let me set the scene – I am out with “Jessica”, “Robby”, “Vince”, and “Jen” who are all in Phillies gear, having just come from the game.  We are sitting outside at Tipsy Pig where we are the only 5 people because it’s a Wednesday night.  The bar manager comes out to chat with us about the Phillies vs. Giants and ends up buying us a round.  He tells us he was going to close up the patio but we could stay out there for a bit longer if we wanted. We wanted. It was kind of nice to be outside, under heat lamps with a private deck to just chat and hang out. Next thing we know Pat Burrell comes walking out with his buddy and teammate Aubrey Huff.  He just comes and high fives us all and starts chatting with us about how much he misses Philadelphia and how those were the best years of his life. Aubrey Huff tells “Robby” under his breath that Pat “cried when he accepted his world series ring.” Pat goes on (quite bitterly) about how the parade in Philly was one of the best days of his life. Unfortunately he can no longer look back at those photos because his ex-wife is in all the pics. He mentioned this a couple of times – bitter much?
“Vince” touches Burrell on the chest and says “dude, you look thin, are you on a diet?” Burrell responds that hes just single and banging a lot of chicks and “that really burns calories.” “Jen” is totallllly starstruck (“Jessica” and I are just playing it cool not like drooling all over him). “Jen” asks to take a pic with him and he says “only if you show me your tits,” then he looks over at me and goes “actually you show me your tits first.” I declined. “Jen” ends up getting in close for a pic and “Jessica” is the one with her iPhone to take the pic (he accidentally creates a video rather than a still shot – this is what he captures): Burrell saying something along the lines of “if you want to take this pic with me you, you have to put your tits on my chest” and “Jen” giggling saying, “don’t be a douche.” I’m pretty sure the video is going to be priceless. Aubrey Huff seemed like a cool guy. Burrell could not be cockier if he tried.
It’s good to know that Pat Burrell is still up to his same old antics despite the change of scenery… We are working vigorously to get said video. Stay tuned.
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