What’s with these people from Michigan? Seriously. You can’t compete with Weems. I’m everywhere, Desmond. Don’t you know this? Just ask Herbie. That one night he was (allegedly) bangin EA, I was in the key hole giving him pointers. He’s a good guy. Still has some room to grow though. Gross.
Kids these days. You gotta teach them everything. Jeez. I remember a day when girls would wait until they were 15 to give lap dances and make babies. Good thing I was at Maury to teach these ill-informed young ladies the ways of life. I should probably go on a nation-wide middle school tour to teach these broads the lay of the land.
Who knew Tom Brady loved Weems? Effin right, Tommy. But enough about you. Where’s Giselle? Your career is on the decline, I’m in my prime… better watch out pretty boy. She gets one glance at this beautiful mug and your your gonna be sleepin on Welker’s couch. Weems is comin for you. Oh yeah, fuck Michigan.
